Go to the Books

Welcome to the Burnout Book Club

I love books. Books are my solace, my escape. When I am lost in life, I go to the books. Books are there for me when I am happy, when I am sad, and of course, when I am having an existential crisis.

If you know me, you will know that I recommend a book for almost any ailment, nearly any life event. I do not know any other way to be. Books are both how I process my life, and how I escape my life.

During the COVID pandemic in 2020, I worked in-person in a clinic for a nutrition program. This was before vaccines, back when we couldn’t even get sanitizing wipes, masks, or gloves. We reported to work, reusing masks, trying to serve our clients in a hybrid setting. I was desperate to escape, so each day I would take a walk during my hour lunch break and listen to audiobooks. Those days, my tastes tended towards thrillers, mysteries, and anything else with a propulsive story that would capture my attention and take me completely out of myself.

In 2022, I gave birth to my son and suffered from postpartum OCD. I found that my psychological thrillers, with their disturbing subject material, triggered my intrusive thoughts. I had to find something new to read. In the many hours I spent nursing and nap-trapped, rocking and snuggling my baby, I scrolled my phone. I came across an excerpt in The Cut from Jessi Klein’s book I’ll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood, in which she describes motherhood as the “hero’s journey”, and I realized someone saw me. I finally felt seen; in those early days, deep in the loneliest part of the postpartum period, there were other women out there who knew what I was going through. I realized there was a whole world of writing out there, about motherhood and parenthood, that was not just about “parenting” -- not about optimizing your child or the “right” way to parent -- but about the actual experience of being a parent.

And so I went to the books. I ordered Klein’s book immediately. (It still remains my go-to gift for new moms.) I spent hours searching online for roundups of books, essays, and short stories about motherhood. I devoured other women’s writing on this phase of life, looking for honest portrayals and solidarity in what I was going through.

In 2023, I quit my toxic job and started a journey of rediscovering myself and my identity. (I will write more about this elsewhere.) I am sure it is no surprise that in this identity crisis I went to the books. I began visiting my local bookstore and going straight to the section of self-help books, a mystifying collection tucked into a corner in the back of the store. On those shelves sat books of many contradictions, some proclaiming to teach me how to do it all, and others, how to do nothing. Something for everyone, I guess.

Many of these books have a prescriptive nature to them that I am learning to ignore -- the 8 steps to X, or a declarative if-you-follow-these-steps-you-will-achieve-enlightenment sort of script. (Or worse, how to monetize that enlightenment once you’ve found it.)

I seek out books that help uncover the systems underlying the conditions of my life. I find it somewhat comforting to discover how many of my personal problems actually come from larger systems or societal constructs. I look for memoirs to learn how others handled the challenges that life throws at me. I look for personal accounts that support both sides of a decision I am facing. I reach for fiction to explore how different characters approach a destabilizing life change, and how they emerge in the end. I try to glimpse my own possible futures through their character arcs.

Through my reading and exploration, I have learned to take what speaks to me from each book and leave the rest. I have learned how other genres like memoir and fiction can provide valuable stories, examples, and guidance on the very life phase I am going through at the time. “Guidance without guidelines,” a friend called it. And that’s exactly what we all need.

As we get deeper into the Disaffected Millennials Club, we invite you to go to the books. We plan to share books that have helped us through this messy period of life, as well as other times both messy and not. You will find our book-related content under the “Burnout Book Club” section of our Substack. We look forward to reading with you.